


Frankly have you thought about stopping ? (never, but it kills me)

by Lumeha



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: ... look I don't know but it's kinda soft and sad and I liked writing them, M/M, disaster dads contemplating stuff ?, just some.. soft melancholy ?, two old men who were affected by tragedy and took bad decisions ?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 13:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21119801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumeha/pseuds/Lumeha
Summary: “We aren’t getting younger.”“You don’t look like you are getting older”, Gilbert said in an even voice, almost deadpan.





	Frankly have you thought about stopping ? (never, but it kills me)

“Deep down, you still are a knight of the Kingdom before a knight of the Church, aren’t you ?” - and it stung in a way that Gilbert knew was not intended. It was a simple reminder of the truth. “But… ah… Don’t stay here for memories’ sake”, Rodrigue said with a smile, his face too pale for this softness.

“This isn’t for old time’s sake, Rodrigue, you know it. You need time to heal.”

Between the imperial army and marauding bandits, and the Fraldarius and Gautier houses being the spearhead of the Kingdom’s fight against the Empire, Rodrigue had a lot on his shoulders. In the last battle he a lead, a nasty hit, from a sword coated with poison, had almost claimed his life. And while his brother could take care of the daily life of the lands without a hitch, help was always appreciated for the military side. Especially with Felix searching high and low for a trace of the crowned prince, despite assuring anyone that he had no reason to believe him alive. His infrequent apparitions always were a relief for the soldiers and his family alike. 

The Knights of Seiros that Gilbert had been travelling with had left earlier in the week. But with the state the Duke was in, he had decided to stay behind, help train the Fraldarius soldiers and lead them to battle if necessary. It was the least he could do for him. 

“We aren’t getting younger.”

“You don’t look like you are getting older”, Gilbert said in an even voice, almost deadpan. 

The laugh that was wrestled out of Rodrigue ended up in a coughing fit. Gilbert gently rubbed his back, trying to smooth out the violent tremors that were wracking his body. When the coughs died down, the knight got up and went to fetch him a glass of water, before stitting down next to the bed once again.

“Do you feel like a relic of the past, sometimes ?” Rodrigue asked, head turned toward the window. 

“The one I was… I have changed since he was buried. It was not that long ago, but the world changed faster than me.”

“Do you regret the time you lost with your daughter ?”

“Always.”

There was no way to describe how he felt and the way it crushed his body under the weight of unseen corpses, broken promises and strangling oaths. He had not been able to carry it back to his home. 

He may not have been actively trying to throw away his life, aware that it would never grant him peace. But the man he had been was no more, not even in this room, not even with an old friend. Not even with the man who hid the cracks in his soul with a reckless playfulness, and still showed them to him ; a man aware that he could, in return, see behind the stern facade, see the fractures of this heart heavy with grief and penance. 

"She deserves more. Better. I will regret it until the day I may be forgiven, and I know she might never forgive me for this."

With a trembling, shaky movement, Rodrigue took his hand between his. He was cold to the touch, despite the fever burning up his body. 

“Some days, I think I now understand my son better than I did in the past”, he said in a soft whisper. “But I can’t get those years back, and he can’t either.”

“Aren’t we a pair, Rodrigue.”

“Two foolish old men and too many regrets ?”

“Aren’t we a pair.”


End file.
